tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14184878.post8670255650585262428..comments2023-10-15T10:29:12.991+01:00Comments on Karyn's erratic learning journey: Social media etiquette conundrumThe upsychohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345558899662051670noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14184878.post-85494879030211113152011-03-04T10:14:15.961+00:002011-03-04T10:14:15.961+00:00There might not have been any personal slight inte...There might not have been any personal slight intended, Karyn. I use Facebook and Twitter for very different things: Twitter is more for my professional and learning activities and Facebook for friendship. <br /><br />It could be that this person had made the decision to use different tools for separate purposes. Perhaps she gets enough "Karyn" during face-to-face encounters or by reading your blog, and now wants to use her Facebook to focus on people that she doesn't meet. <br /><br />It's unlikely that this is the reason, but I hope it offers a different perspective on why she might have taken the action she has.James McLuckiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13360980014264817767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14184878.post-37401959996560505462011-03-03T20:10:34.357+00:002011-03-03T20:10:34.357+00:00@Don Thanks for your comment. I hasten to point ou...@Don Thanks for your comment. I hasten to point out that by 'maturity' I was not referring to being a 'grown up' in the general sense, but a form of digital maturity.<br /><br />Interesting perspective, though, and I'm glad your wife was able to overcome her stagefright!The upsychohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06345558899662051670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14184878.post-42800129213948121332011-03-03T19:49:52.852+00:002011-03-03T19:49:52.852+00:00It's easy to attribute their behavior to immat...It's easy to attribute their behavior to immaturity but I don't think that's all of it. I think it's akin to the same sort of irrational fear which some people have of stepping up to a podium and speaking in public. <br /><br />The the irrational fear of being "exposed as an imposter" is way up near the top among phobic fears possessed by otherwise ordinary people. Confidence, self-respect and self-assuredness aren't particularly common qualities in human beings.<br /><br />I've always enjoyed performing in public. I've never experienced "stage fright" in my life and have no idea what it feels like but I've seen it reduce intelligent, competent people to trembling parodies of themselves.<br /><br />Venturing onto the web seems to invoke a similar response in many people. Separating their public and online selves seems to be a common coping mechanism. They assure themselves that they have anonymity online; nobody knows who they really are so they're safe from "discovery". Rational? Not at all, but no less real. When you walk up in the "real world" and make reference to online events you're threatening their defense mechanism; jeopardizing their tightly held illusion of anonymity.<br /><br />When I met my wife she used her initials online and carefully avoided typing anything which could reveal her gender or location in the world. Then she ran off and married a musician (her mother was very proud). Now, over six years later, our names, postal address and telephone number are on our website. She runs sound for my band, regularly gets on stage to sing harmony and her picture is "all over" the web (uploaded to her various online profiles). She decided for herself that her fears were irrational and overcame them.<br /><br />I'm not saying anyone could do it but I'm pleased that my wife is someone who could, and did, and I'm saying that, before writing off any of your friends and acquaintances as immature or foolish you take the time to determine whether or not they're the victims of irrational fears. Understanding may, in some cases, be more appropriate than dismissal.<br /><br />I've learned that anyone who frequently displays intense, emotional feelings about the way the internet is "undermining" our personal privacy is quite probably someone who's suffering from the sort of irrational fears I've been discussing. I never argue with such people, it sets off knee-jerk responses which can be very ugly. I smile and nod a lot, even agreeing with them if it will help them calm down. As with any obsessive-compulsive human behavior, they can only change when they're willing to admit they have a problem. The best thing the rest of us can do is to avoid "rocking their boat" as it were.<br /><br />I remain your virtual friend and admirer. Don Crowder AKA eldergeek AKA Don-GuitarDonGuitarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13970965529323438113noreply@blogger.com