tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14184878.post7422776920192305423..comments2023-10-15T10:29:12.991+01:00Comments on Karyn's erratic learning journey: Learning about learning through cooking with childrenThe upsychohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06345558899662051670noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14184878.post-64146402324962426562011-01-25T16:58:35.999+00:002011-01-25T16:58:35.999+00:00@Anonymous I think what counts is that you play th...@Anonymous I think what counts is that you play the cards you hold in your hand. Make them work for you. Of course it could have been better, but it could also have been worse. I don't know much about poker, but I do know that you can win with a really crappy hand, and lose with a great one.<br /><br />At the risk of sounding self-pitying, I wasn't dealt the best of hands - I had a miserable childhood. Then I made a few bad choices of my own. So it has been a bumpy old road. And the bumps don't stop: I'm currently back in the job market and not having much success there. <br /><br />But we are where we are. The old Sunday School song tells us to 'count our blessings' and Paul McKenna tells us to develop an 'attitude of gratitude'. It's a long way from denialist positive thinking (which I reject with every fibre of my being), but it's a good place to start.<br /><br />Is your Mom still alive? Are you able to discuss the matter with her? <br /><br />I had a long conversation with my Mom and the other members of her generation, telling them how some of the things they had said and done impacted my life. There was some anger, some tears, some apologies. Some healing. Some of the damage that was done will probably never be undone, but I don't know that anyone is ever truly whole in this lifetime. And I am very self-aware. I know which bits of me are damaged, and how they evidence themselves.The upsychohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06345558899662051670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14184878.post-87826539380815669032011-01-25T16:32:53.233+00:002011-01-25T16:32:53.233+00:00Karyn, you are absolutely right. It has a lot to d...Karyn, you are absolutely right. It has a lot to do with how she was raised as well and what she was accustomed. A lot of people have told me the same thing; that she did the best she could, regardless of whether she was a good mother or not she tried. I guess that's what counts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14184878.post-65412952006922275052011-01-25T10:21:47.864+00:002011-01-25T10:21:47.864+00:00@TUI I can tell ;o)
I have some residual resentme...@TUI I can tell ;o)<br /><br />I have some residual resentment myself about things my Mom did and didn't do/allow when I was a child. But I have come to the realisation that, if I hang onto those too tightly, I won't be able to do better by my own kids. I have come to see that she behaved as she did as a consequence of her own background.<br /><br />There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that my children will be adamant that they will not do X or Y thing with/to their kids because I did it with/to them and they hated it.<br /><br />But my children know that they are loved. This is terribly important to me. I didn't know that I was loved until I was an adult, by which time the damage was done.The upsychohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06345558899662051670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14184878.post-57672042405662922292011-01-24T19:46:39.203+00:002011-01-24T19:46:39.203+00:00That sounds like a great and creative way to engag...That sounds like a great and creative way to engage kids. My mom never bothered to engage or allow me to have fun while cooking anything so I'm a bit envious of kids who get to experiment. My mom was the type to tell me to sit in a corner and be quiet, always telling me what to do, never encouraging creativity or independence or even for me to speak up myself. <br /><br />About the clothes; I was never allowed to pick out my clothes either. My mother dressed me in corduroy pants like a tomboy and I wasn't allowed to pretty dresses and such as a kid. I still have some bitterness towards that believe it or not!TUI Online Degreeshttp://www.tuiu.edu/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14184878.post-52654514651163945582011-01-20T23:47:56.591+00:002011-01-20T23:47:56.591+00:00@Virginia When the outcome isn't going to be l...@Virginia When the outcome isn't going to be life threatening either way, I like the "why don't we find out?" approach to answering questions.<br /><br />I also didn't fret about peculiar combinations of clothes worn to play school. It's an area of his life that a small child can take ownership of without any untoward consequences. My younger son regularly went to nursery school in his Superman suit and bare feet.<br /><br />As to your daughter...at least she had the chance to try, right? And maybe she will still learn to enjoy it. My mother has only started being adventurous in the kitchen since she retired!<br /><br />By the way, I have one friend who eats peanutbutter on celery sticks.The upsychohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06345558899662051670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14184878.post-38052197610571616842011-01-20T19:53:30.510+00:002011-01-20T19:53:30.510+00:00What a great idea (and post). One thing you allud...What a great idea (and post). One thing you alluded to and I would add is let kids experiment. If my kids wanted to put peanut butter on tomatoes, I'd let them try. We'd use a small experiment first (not take a whole tomato, but a small slice).<br /><br />My son would say, what would happen if...? Often, it ended up in his trying it out.<br /><br />Interestingly enough, my daughter absolutely HATES cooking of any kind. No matter what have done to encourage her, she'll always end up passing the task over to my son (who loves it).V Yonkershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11910904367068063554noreply@blogger.com