Mid-week smile: dress rules

Since most of us in this space appear to be 'of a certain age' (do you know anyone who is of an uncertain age?), I thought I'd share this gem which chortled into my inbox this morning.

Feeling young, we try to conform to current fashions and present a youthful image. Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Mini skirts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a zimmer

So you know. I'm off to go and rethink my wardrobe.